Prompt: Attention – Charlie Puth
You just want attention, you don't want my heart
Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new
Yeah, you just want attention, I knew from the start
You're just making sure I'm never getting over you
“He's not going to stay, Leo! He is never going to stay!”
Hours after the fight with Adam, Leo is in bed with Blaine, one of his arms across his chest and his head hidden in the curve of his neck. It's not often that Blaine falls asleep before him, so he'd like to enjoy the chance of watching him sleep, but he can't when Adam words keep coming back to him. He tries to ignore them, but instead of vanish they become stronger and louder until he can't think about anything else.
“He's not going to stay, Leo! He is never going to stay! What's the point in wanting him here if you fucking know it's always going to last only a couple of weeks?”
Blaine disappeared for nine months this time. Last time they said goodbye he didn't even warn him it could happen. At some point he just stopped answering his messages or his phone. For the first few weeks, Leo didn't even bother to wonder why. That was standard procedure. Blaine would stay with him a few days and then left again to go back to work, it was no big deal.
When weeks became a month, he started to worry. He could feel fear crawling in the back of his head, suggesting that he might have got bored or worse. But then again, Timmy – his son – was a newborn, maybe he just needed time to take care of him. Leo hated it, but he could understand what was behind this radio silence. Then one month became two and three and Leo stopped thinking about it.
He didn't give up on Blaine, he just willed himself not to have any thought about him, like children sometimes do when they think there's a monster under the bed and they convince themselves that, if they don't look at it, it can't move and their situation can't get worse. He caged the thought of Blaine in a mental stasis where the passing time had no meaning. Blaine was somewhere. Blaine was going to come back. That was all he needed to know.
Then, he met Cody and Cody turned his world upside down. For the first time in his life – and he can say that with no hesitation whatsoever knowing that it is the truth – he wanted someone as much as he had wanted Blaine at fifteen, with the blindness of obsession. Being aware of that, he had reinforced the cage of Blaine's thought. It was there, safe, always present in the back of his head, but unable to escape. So that if Leo got distracted with the wonder that Cody was, Blaine could not slip away from him.
And then Blaine was back – suddenly and unannounced – as if nothing had ever happened.
There was no call or text. Two days ago Leo opened the door and Blaine was there, with his best smile and a huge suitcase that spoke of a long stay. Leo didn't question him at all. He was too happy to see him, even if Cody was in the picture and sooner or later he was going to have to break up with him. He still hasn't.
“He's trying to take you away from everything else you might love.”
Adam's words have always been mean and in time Leo has learned to ignore them – or at least to bear with them – but these hit a little too close to home to just shrug them off. His brain is still forcefully keeping him from thinking about their meaning, but he doesn't need to tap into the thought to know it's there. Blaine is suddenly giving him something spectacular. Something Cody can't compare with. One, because it comes from Blaine. Two, because it's something Leo has never had with Blaine and always wanted: three whole months together, just the two of them.
This journey sounds like an apology, but he doesn't care for that. Blaine should apologize for abandoning him for so long. The point is that it also sounds too incredible to be real, and that gives Adam's words just that little truth that makes Leo feel weird about it. He feels like he should talk with Annie about this, she would know what to do. Still, the idea of discussing it scares him a little bit. Saying something aloud makes it real – everybody knows that – and he's not ready for that.
Blaine murmurs something in his sleep, then he turns on his side and hugs him tighter, pulling himself into his arms. That is when Leo realizes that all depends on one single question: does he want to give up on so much time with Blaine? The answer is no. No matter what triggered Blaine to offer him this trip. No matter anything, really, because he still wants him. And he needs to think that, even if this is fucked up, it's because Blaine wants him too.
Adam is wrong.
Title: Two Husbands, four children. And still.
Setting: What if!verse
Cody is so beautiful that sometimes Leo just wants to touch him.
Cody doesn't have to be doing something specific, he can just be there on the couch laughing at someone's joke or listening to a conversation, and Leo wants to drag him in the nearest corner and kiss him stupid. And his desire is so strong that he has to keep himself away from him because he knows – he just knows – that he will reach out and grab him if he stands too close. He can feel his brain just shifting to a time when this was possible and Leo had every right to touch him because Cody was his to touch.
Sometimes the intensity of this desire scares him because he's perfectly aware that he would act upon it under the right circumstances. And he has never wanted to cheat on his husband before. He has never wanted like this another person that wasn't Blaine.
Leo doesn't know when it started. Or if it never stopped but he didn't notice throughout the years just because he was lost in his head half of the time and lost in happiness after finding Blaine again the other half. What he knows is that at some point he and Cody reconnected, and the old flame between them has been rekindled, and it's so strong that it might burn them both.
It's harder now that Cody responds.
Leo could live with his brain being a mess – he's used to it – but not with Cody answering to his desire with his own. It's not just Leo staring and struggling anymore. Cody looks up when he does, and he sits closer when he can. Every time their bodies brush, Leo is afraid the sparkles will set their clothes on fire.
It's not lust but regret that pulls one to the other.
They were something, they are something, but they could have been more.